Daniel's notes on The Communication Book

How to influence people—Robert Cialdini 1.Reciprocity: if you want to get something, give something. The right order is important: offer something first. Then ask for what you want. 2. Authority: we tend to follow the advice of experts. We have more trust in a doctor who is wearing a white coat and displaying diplomas on the wall. Put into action: in your area of expertise, find out what the 'white coat' is.

How to influence people—Robert Cialdini 3. Consistency: we look up to people who are consistent in their words and behaviours. Put into action: stick to one message. Don't follow every trend. Be the consistent one, people will remember you for that. 4. Consensus: we are herd people. We do what others do. This is called 'social proof. Put into action: if you want someone to do something, show others doing it ('People who bought this book also bought...).

How to influence people—Robert Cialdini 5. Scarcity: we all want that which is rare and we are all afraid to lose what we have. Put into action: it might not be enough to talk about the benefits of your offer; you also need to point at what people will lose if they fail to act. This also holds true if people face change: they are usually scared of what they might lose. Therefore it's good to tell them what they will lose if they fail to move.

How to influence people—Robert Cialdini 6. Liking: this is the most universal principle: people prefer to say yes to people they like. But who do we like? According to Cialdini there are three factors: - we like people who are similar to us; - we like people who compliment us; - we like people who cooperate with us towards a common goal.

The fifteen-minute rule Parkinson's Law states that Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion (and not according to how complex it really is). Therefore it makes sense to limit the time of meetings. Incidentally, studies show that the attention span of the average person is between ten and eighteen minutes. Ideally, you should use a timer. When it rings, the meeting is over - immediately.

The standing rule In many companies, meetings are held with everybody standing up because it leads to decisions being reached more quickly. At Washington University, studies showed that when they are standing, people react more readily with enthusiasm, whereas when they are sitting, they tend towards scepticism.

How to talk to your team 1. Don't criticize This might sound a bit too easy-going. And, of course, you have to evaluate the work of your employees - that's your job. But go easy on the criti-cism. Only start deconstructing if you're prepared to help with the rebuilding. Keep using 'we'. Especially when your team has lost.

How to talk to your team 3. Practise what you preach Nothing rings more hollow than words that aren't backed up by deeds. If punctuality and friendliness are important to you, then be punctual and friendly. Set the pace, demonstrate values, establish the tone. But pick your battles, only set standards that are important to you - or that you consider to be generally important. Nobody can be good at everything.

How can you get a suggestion past in a meeting successfully? A particularly effective method is the Salami Tactic. Do not put your suggestion forward all in one go, but serve it in small, easily digestible slices instead. This portioning method has two advantages: first, the fear of a huge task or bold idea is reduced; second, a measured presentation allows the other participants to explore the idea themselves and think it through further. And, above all, this tactic does not allow the other participants to recognize your overarching intention. This makes it harder to fight against it. If there are ideological rifts, it is better to take small, isolated steps and concentrate on the matter at hand, not on the intended outcome.

Six rhetorical tools or how to make a good speech: 1. Anaphora: repetition of a word or phrase, typical in political speeches: 'I demand justice. I demand understanding. I demand..’ 2. Inversion: reversing the usual word order, such as in 'Infinite is his sorrow' (instead of 'His sorrow is infinite'). 3. Irony: saying one thing when you really mean the opposite, e.g. 'I really enjoyed being stuck in that traffic jam.'

Six rhetorical tools or how to make a good speech: 4. Rhetorical questions: questions that make a statement, e.g. 'Would you like shiny, glossy hair?' 5. Analogies (comparisons): 'He stood there like a dying duck in a thunderstorm' (banal) or 'He was as confused as a comma at the end of a sentence' (creative). 6. Antithesis: a contrasting thought to produce tension, e.g. ‘He was beautiful, strong and... unhappy.'

Storytelling or how to make the most boring lecture exciting: Why do all fairy tales begin with the phrase 'Once upon a time..? The answer is relevant for anyone who gives presentations: according to the sociolinguist William Labov, if we weave hard facts into narrative patterns, associations with well-known fairy tales are evoked in our memories which remind us of the pleasure of listening to them. With the consequence that our attention span increases.

Classic fairy tales follow a particular sequence: • Abstract: how does it begin? ('Once upon a time...) • Orientation: who/where/when? ('A king and queen had a daughter ...) • Complicating action: the problem to be solved ('But all around the castle, a hedge of thorns started to grow ...) • Resolution: solution (Then he stooped and kissed Sleeping Beauty. And she opened her eyes for the first time in many, many years...) • Evaluation: what results from it? ('And they lived happily ever after.) • Coda: what remains ('And the moral of the story...)

Chris Anderson, the inventor of TED, has three rules for a perfect TED talk: 1. Don't talk about a concept, a deficiency or a product; talk about an idea. 2. Focus on just one idea. 3. Talk about the idea in such a way that people will want to tell others about it.

Principled negotiation or how to reach an agreement: Negotiation is the fine art of finding a solution to an apparently impossible situation. One of the best-known negotiating methods, 'principled negotiation', is based on the book Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William L. Ury.

Principled negotiation or how to reach an agreement: • Thing, not person; do not be distracted by whether you like the other person or not. • Similarities, not differences: don't think: I am in the weaker [or stronger] negotiating position. Ask yourself: What does the other person need from me? Do we have common interests?