Sarah's notes on Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

• You can't force sleep. Making sleep happen is not something you can choose to do. Sleep happens when we create an environment in which the body and mind can feel safe and calm. So don't concentrate on sleep, concentrate on relaxation, rest and calm. Your brain will do the rest.

• Our mental health defence players provide the foundations of good health. When we nurture them daily they pay us back with interest. • If you do one thing today, make it exercise. Choose something you enjoy and you increase your chances of keeping it going. • The relationship between sleep and mental health works both ways. Prioritizing sleep will help your mental health, and making changes to your day will affect your sleep. • How you feed your brain influences how you feel. Traditional Mediterranean, Japanese and Norwegian diets show benefits for mental health. • Human connection is a powerful tool for stress resilience. Your relationships change your biology and psychology.

• Motivation is not something you are born with. • The feeling that you are energized and want to do something cannot be relied upon to always be there. • Mastering motivation is building the capacity to do what matters most to you, even when a part of you does not feel like it. • Procrastination is often avoidance of stress or discomfort. • Anhedonia is when we no longer get a sense of pleasure from the activities that we used to enjoy. This is often associated with low mood and depression. • If something matters to you and could benefit your health, don't wait until you feel like it - do it anyway.

When we acknowledge the progress and small victories along the way, we start to recognize that our efforts can influence our world. Feeling that we have agency in this way helps us to feel energized to keep trying. This is a great reason to start small and develop new habits, ensuring that each one gets embedded. Once you sustain the habit of prioritizing your healthy behaviours, they will sustain you.

• Staying connected with your goal helps to keep triggering moments of increased motivation. • Learning to rest and replenish between stressful situations helps to maximize willpower. • Shame is not as helpful for motivation as you might think. Changing your relationship with failure will help your motivation.

How to establish a new Habit: • Make the new behaviour as easy as possible to do, especially in moments when you might not feel like taking action. • Set up your environment in a way that supports your new change of behaviour. In the early stages of the change, you cannot rely on habit. • Make clear plans and set reminders if necessary. • Add in a mix of short-term and longer-term rewards. • Get clarity on why you are making this change and why it matters so much to you.

Ehen the task ahead feels like a mountain to climb, you don't look up at the peak. You narrow your focus and set yourself the challenge to make it to that next ridge. When you get there, you allow yourself to absorb that feeling of being on your way. Then you go again.

The most effective way to resolve a problem is to understand the problem inside out. Albert Einstein reportedly once said, 'If I had an hour to solve a problem, I'd spend fifty-five minutes thinking about the problem and five minutes thinking about solutions.'

Some self-soothing Ideas that relax muscles and can be effective in contributing to getting you through distress: • A warm drink • A chat with a trusted friend or loved one • Physical movement • Calming music • Beautiful images • Slow breathing • Relaxation techniques • A scent or perfume you associate with safeness and comfort

Supporting someone does not mean that you have to connect with big, intense conversations. Human connection in the smallest of moments matters. Walking while you are talking can help those who feel uncomfortable with opening up. You can also say nothing at all. Simply spending time together, even in silence, is OK. By being there, you are helping them to feel less alone and more cared for.