[F YOUR SPOUSE'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS ACTS OF SERVICE: 1. Consider serving someone (or something) your spouse loves: an older relative, caring attentively for a pet, a favorite cause. 2. Print note cards with the following: "Today I will show my love for you by ..." Complete the sentence with a task you know your spouse would love you to do: picking up the clutter, taking old clothes to a thrift store, fixing something that's been broken a long time, weeding the garden. (Bonus points if it's a chore that's been put off.) 3. Ask your spouse to make a list of ten things he or she would like for you to do during the next month. Then ask your spouse to prioritize those by numbering them 1-10, with 1 being the most important and 10 being least important. Use this list to plan your strategy for a month of love. (Get ready to live with a happy spouse.) 4. While your spouse is away, get the children to help you with some act of service for him. When he walks in the door, join the children in shouting, "Surprise! We love you!" Then share your act of service. 5. This can also work when your spouse is away for a long period of time, such as a military deployment. Recruit the kids to help you with some act of service for him. Take a picture of the results and send it -or, even better, show it to him via Skype and yell, "Surprise! We love you!" 6. If your requests to your mate come across as nags or putdowns, try writing them in words that would be less offensive to them. Share this revised wording with your spouse. For example, "The yard always looks so nice, and I really appreciate your work. I'd love to thank you in advance for mowing the lawn this week before Paul and Amy come over for dinner." Your husband might even respond, "Where's the lawnmower, I can't wait!" Try it and see. 7. If you have more money than time, hire someone to do the acts of service that neither of you wants to do, such as the yard work or a once-a-month deep cleaning of your home. 8. Run interference for your spouse during his or her favorite TV show or important sports event. Take care of all the phone calls, kid emergencies, and so on.

As for quality time, the time you spend staying in contact, working to encourage one another, sending each other notes and gifts, etc., is quality time. Of course, it's not the preferred form of quality time, but it is quality time nonetheless. You must learn to view it and appreciate it as such.

Sex is designed to be the unique expression of our commitment to each other for a lifetime. When this commitment is broken, it is devastating to the marriage. However, this does not mean that the marriage is destined for divorce. If the offending party is willing to break off the extramarital involvement and do the hard work of rebuilding the marriage, there can be genuine restoration.

if Physical Touch is your wife's language and you're not by nature a "toucher," begin with small things such as putting your hand on her shoulder as you pour a cup of coffee or give her a "love pat" on the shoulder as you walk by. These small touches will begin to break down the barrier. Each time you touch, the next touch will be easier. You can become proficient in speaking the language of Physical Touch. The same is true with the other languages. If you're not a Words of Affirmation person and you discover that your wife's language is Words of Affirmation, make a list of statements that you hear from other people or that you read or hear in the media. Stand in front of a mirror and read the list until you become comfortable hearing yourself say those words. Then choose one of the statements to say to your wife. Each time you affirm her, it will become easier. Not only will your wife feel good about your changed behavior but you'll also feel good about yourself, because you'll know that you're effectively expressing love to her.

If the teen's love language is Physical Touch and you've been hugging him and kissing him on the cheek, he may well push you away and say, "Leave me alone." It doesn't mean that he doesn't need Physical Touch; it means that he considers those particular touches to be childish. You must now speak Physical Touch in more adult dialects, such as an elbow to the side, a fist to the shoulder, or a pat on the back. Or you might wrestle your teen to the floor. These touches will communicate your love to a teenager. The worst thing you can do to a teenager whose love language is Physical Touch is to withdraw when the teen says, "Don't touch me."