dalliances are quickly shot down to the point where I realise I have to change the subject or Spencer is going to want to eat his takeaway alone when it arrives. We order Chinese and while we wait for it, I give him the other piece of news from my day, which came towards the end of my most recent phone call with my sister. 'We're having a barbecue this weekend,' I tell him. I invited my family over. Is that okay?

Page 167 | Highlight It's far worse than I could have imagined. Now I know why Spencer cried out for help a few moments ago. It's because somebody was hurting him. But I'm too late to give him that help he so desperately needed. I'm too late because my husband is already dead. Note:oh wow didnt see that coming omg what did Lilly do.

The lack of a reply is doing nothing to make me feel better, and as I reach the top of the stairs, I feel stone-cold sober, as if all the wine in my body has evaporated and I've been dragged out of my blissful state next door and dragged back into the real world at home. oh no something not right, but what!!!

"Get on the bed,' I tell him, making the effort to sound as stern as possible, out purely for sexual effect. "Are you sure this is what you want?' Spencer asks me, but I just wait for him to make his move, and he does, getting onto the bed and lying back, his head on the same pillow he used to lay down on every night.

he concedes he's fighting a losing battle and lowers them again. 'It's not?' is all he can say as I shift my weight slightly, feeling empowered, not just by the alcohol I've consumed but the current hold I seem to have over my husband. 'No, I want something else too, I say confi-dently. 'Something that I'm not going to let you leave this house until you have given it me "I want you,' I say, spelling it out for him as the music continues to play in the background, adding to what I hope is the erotic ambience inside this house right now.